Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Surround yourself with good people....
Last April, after The Obamessiah and Madame Boob Belt broke protocol to hug Queen Elizabeth II of England and slip Her Majesty the lovely gift of an iPod loaded down with complete & utter crap, Obama found himself asking the queen a question about leadership.
"Your Majesty, let me be clear. How do you do it? How have you managed to be such an effective ruler for so long?"
"Oh, Barry, it's really quite simple. You must surround yourself with good people. Here, let me show you."
The Queen pressed a button on her desk, and within seconds Prime Minister Gordon Brown appeared. "Yes, Majesty?"
"Gordon, if your parents produce a child, and that child is neither your brother nor your sister, then whom would that child be?"
Brown looked deep in thought for a few seconds, and then replied "The child would be me, Majesty."
Obama was amazed. This was incredible! Taking his newly found wisdom back to DC on Air Force One and pondering it over Wagyu beef and champagne, he formulated his next move.
The next day at the Oval Orifice, The One summoned Joe Biden.
"Joe, I need to know if you've been acting stupidly. Tell me, if your Momma and your Daddy have a baby, and it's not your brother or your sister, then who is it?"
Biden looked perplexed, almost constipated. "Gee, Boss, give me a few minutes to think about it."
Biden then went to his favorite place to think; the second-floor men's room in the Old Executive Office Building. Nestling into the far stall, he looked at the floor and saw a familiar pair of shoes in the next stall.
It was Dick Cheney, who'd come to visit an old friend in the OEOB.
Tapping the stall wall, Biden said to his predecessor," Say, Dick, I got a question for you. If your Mom & Dad have a baby and it's not your sister and it's not your brother, then who would it be?"
"C'mon, Joe; that's easy. It'd be me."
Biden could hardly contain himself and ran full tilt back to his master, who was Windexing his TelePrompters and practicing his purse-lipped angry look.
"I got the answer, Boss!"
"Excellent, Joe. Please, in the name of Hope & Change, tell me."
"If it's not my sister and it's not my brother, it's Dick Cheney!"
Obama was thunderstruck. His second-in-command had failed him. Slapping his head in exasperation, he turned to face Biden.
"No, you dumbass; it's Gordon Brown!"